By Me
This Saturday I had the privilege of going shooting with some friends of mine. Privileged is the word I would like to emphasize. It was interesting to see that although the range was riddled with hillbillies, the cost of shooting was damn near the price of a nice round of golf. In my mind that means that only people with means can really go shooting regularly. I’ve got to say, I loved it and I plan on shooting a few more times before it gets too cold.
Besides, shotguns are awesome. Let me tell you about mine. I have a 20 gauge Beretta Silver Pigeon with a 28” barrel.
Beautiful, isn’t it?
I use to like playing poker. It was something I could identify with. There was a skill involved that I truly enjoyed. But now that everybody is an expert and the world series of poker gets an average Nielsen rating of 1.0, which translates to 1,145,000 households, I no longer enjoy playing. I’ve moved on and I think I found something that is as interesting to me.
Guns are scary but that is part of the rush that comes with shooting clay pigeon. All I can say is, PULL!
By Me
It has come to my attention that there is an update from the date guy. I pasted the post below:
I never thought I would hear from this girl again. If I was in her place I would’ve ripped my skin off the minute I came out of the drug fueled comatose. But, low and behold I received an email from her today.
“I am soooooo humiliated by what happened on Saturday. I just started taking an antidepressant, and i wasnt fully prepared for how it is affected by alcohol… i was with a friend before i came to meet you, and unfortunately the three drinks i had when i was with her made me sick. I am so sorry if i made a mess and freaked you out. even though that episode was by no means my norm, it is pretty clear that you and i probably wont have a second time together. i just want to let you know that you seem like an amazing person, and i am happy and grateful that i got to know you the past few weeks. i hope you find what you are looking for out there. Take care.”
Well I guess this answers the question of what this girl was on Saturday night.
But, It raises another. My coworkers upon hearing this news immediately pressed me to take the second date. “She is opening a door for a second date, and you better take it.” “See she just had a bad night.” Second date? Act Two?
By Me
I thought the spider for credit card bill was pretty funny, but this is way better.
While a friend and I were talking about eHarmony being sued in California for excluding gay people, he told me about this story. This is truly the worst case scenario for a first date. I’ve pasted the story below:
—————————————————————————————-
The following events are completely true.
I met a girl on Match.com and we chatted for about two weeks before going out for the first time last Saturday. The plan was she meet me at my apartment then we would go for a walk and grab a drink or some coffee.
7:00 PM - I call her to let her know I was now home and she could meet me anytime. She says she will be over in 30 minutes.
8:00 PM - She shows up to my place. At first she seamed kind of spacey which I wrote off as her being nervous.
8:05 PM - She has been walking around in my apartment and acting very confused. She asked why I have my DVD’s in a certain order and confused when I explain they are alphabetical. A wire sitting on a shelve also puzzled her. “Why is this wire here” -”Well, because I’m lazy and I just decided to put it there”. After this goes on for a bit I ask if she would like some water or a drink.
8:10 PM - We are now in the kitchen, I just poured myself a much needed drink. She suddenly grabs me and begins kissing me. I am very shocked but also thinking ok, cool, this is breaking the ice.
8:11 PM - After about a minute of kissing she grabs and pulls me towards the bedroom were she immediately disrobes and gets under the covers leaving me at the side of the bed completely clothed. This is where it gets really, really weird.
8:12 PM - I am still at the side of the bed, and she is now laying in bed facing the wall doing nothing. I ask her “Ummm are you ok?” -”Yes Im Fine”. Well she was not fine. She sits up in bed and starts taking very deep breathes. I ask her “Would you like some water…or something…” She replies no. She then lays back in bed again just laying there. At this point I’m not sure what to do, all i know is I have to get this crazy woman out of here pronto.
8:13 PM - She sits up in bed and makes says “Im sorry. I was just so nervous about meeting you.” She immediately PUKES all over herself and my bed. HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. I grab her a nearby waste bucket and instruct her to the bathroom.
8:14 PM - She is in the bathroom now. I turn on my bedroom light to assess the damage. Not only is there puke all over my bed and floor, but menstruation blood is soaking into my sheet.
8:15 PM - I grab some towels for her and tell her she is welcome to take a shower if needs. She then creeks the bathroom door open and asks if I want to come in. I decline and say “how about you clean up, put your clothes on, then we can talk…”
8:30 PM - Im sitting in my living room and she comes out of the bathroom. Covering herself with a blanket and still full of puke. She lays on my couch, grabs her phone, and begins calling her friends like nothing has happened.
8:40 PM - She is starting to pass out. I ask if she needs a ride somewhere or if someone is coming to get her. She says a friend is coming to get her. She then completely passes out on my couch.
9:00 PM - After 20 minutes of trying to get this puke girl to wake up, put her clothes on and leave, she does exactly that. She leaves talking on her cell phone which I hear her drop halfway down the hallway. She is gone. Now, lets look at the bathroom which I had not seen yet. Puke is everywhere and she has taken a blood soiled maxi-pad and tossed it against my bath tub. I spend the next hour cleaning enough where I can sleep. I throw away the waste bucket along with the towels. The sheets are sent to the cleaners and my bathroom get a bleach bomb. It took until 4:00 PM Sunday to get my bathroom aired out. The grossest and weirdest date. I think this might be the worst date in Minneapolis.
So its obvious this girl was on SOMETHING, but i have no idea what. She didn’t smell like booze and when she kissed me I could n’t taste booze.
Oh and it was very obvious she had some kind of curry dish for dinner that night.
second date?
By Me
This is a GREAT email exchange. READ HERE
By Me
On November 4th, 2008, we elected our first black President. I saw this as a sign of progress. However, today I read an article which made me wonder whether or not we are moving in a positive direction or whether the electing of a minority president was an anomaly; a reaction to the failed policies of George Bush.
According to the Associated Press, a woman was arrested for drunk driving with her 1 year-old son in the back seat of the car. When the boy’s father came to pick him from the police station, he too was arrested for drunk driving. Finally, the boy’s grandparents came to pick him up; they also were drunk. Fortunately, the boy’s grandmother was not over the legal limit. The police escorted the family home and left the boy in the care of his drunk, but legally sober grandmother.
To read the full article CLICK HERE
By Me
I’ve come to the conclusion that my parents assistance is like crack. For the last four
years, my parents have assisted me financially and I am addicted to their support. Recently though, I’ve been going through serious withdrawal. At this point, I have no revenue stream. I don’t work and the quasi-job I am doing won’t pay anything for some time, if it yields profit at all. So I am holding onto the last remaining savings I have, like an addict who tries smoke the resin left in an empty pipe.
Having weeks ago been completely self-sufficient, it’s been really tough to be broke. Young bankers in Manhattan use the term legit entirely too frequently, but walking down 7th avenue to the Lehman building in my herringbone Brooks Brothers suit with my Charles Tyrwhitt shirt and my Ferragamo shoes and tie, I felt legit. Now I wear unintentionally torn jeans and the same sweatshirt every day. Legit is no longer in my vocabulary.
But the good news is I am not alone. Several of my friends have either lost their jobs or haven’t been able to find a job since graduating. We all have nothing to do during the days and so we spend the nights going out. But it’s pretty tough to be a baller when you have no job, no money, and live with your parents. We still hit on girls in the bars, but again with no cash it’s difficult. Normally, I would just walk up to a girl, chat her up, and then offer to buy her a shot, and then chat her up some more. It’s an easy and good technique. Now that I am on a budget, I’ve had to change my methods, but that’s a topic for another post.
By Me
MY RATING 7/10
Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith
Starring: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson, Jason Mewes, Jeff Anderson, Kenny Hotz, Justin Long, Traci Lords, Brandon Routh
Zack and Miri Make a Porno is the story of two life-long friends and roommates, Zack Brown (Seth Rogen) and Miri Linky (Elizabeth Banks), who find themselves unable to make rent. With no other options, they turn to the adult entertainment industry for a way out from under their massive debt. The team enlists the financing of one of Zack’s co-workers (Craig Robinson) and comedy ensues.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno was a worth a good laugh. Although short of what I expected from Kevin Smith, the movie was able to carry my attention for its entirety. Seth Rogen proved once again that he can be a leading male and Elizabeth Banks was a refreshing change from Smith’s typical whiney leading female. Even though several of Smith’s previous films have had happy endings (no pun intended), I was expecting a deviation from what seemed like an all too obvious script path. The saving grace however, came in the form of a few terrific and funny scenes that helped maintain my interest during the end, which dragged for what felt like an eternity.
Overall, I would say that Zack and Miri Make a Porno was worth the $9.50 for my student ticket.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OssgMY_mkMc]
By Me
Tomorrow I am sending out my law school applications. It has been a long time since I had to write a personal statement and let me tell you, it is a lot more difficult than it sounds. I toyed with the idea of starting the essay the way my brother started his high school autobiography, but I thought the line “Call me Steven” was to kitschy for a law school admissions paper.
Anyway, the daunting task of self reflection combined with the need to boast on my own behalf has been just disastrous. Ultimately, I chose to write about the last days at Lehman Brothers and the implications this change has had on my life. I found that deviating from my plan has forced me to adapt in a positive way.
Although I moved back to Chicago from New York and I now have new “roommates”, I am finding that this “free time” has allowed me to begin working on something I truly enjoy, an internet project with a friend. Even though this has nothing to do with the personal traits one might think should be discussed in a personal statement, I chose to write about all this in order to show that post collegiate life is complicated. There is no way to predict which path is the correct one nor what choices are the right ones. In the end, we all must be nimble. Adaptability and self awareness are the two characteristics that embody the successful college graduate and therefore, must come through in one’s personal statement.
